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Megan Ashley Alvarez

Megan Ashley Alvarez, known as Ashley or Ash, was Julian Reyes’s mother and Ezekiel “Zeek” Reyes’s partner. She had bipolar I disorder and experienced a postpartum bipolar episode with psychotic features after Julian’s birth.

Early Life and Background

Ashley grew up in Fresno, California. She had a difficult childhood. Her mother, Mia, died when Ashley was approximately eight after a substance-use relapse. Following a period of abstinence, Mia returned to use without recognizing that her tolerance had decreased, and the amount she took caused a fatal overdose.

Before the 2002–03 school year, Ashley’s family moved into a home a few blocks from the Reyes home in Fresno High-Roeding. Her father, Ruben Alvarez, met Zeek’s father after bringing the family’s car to the Reyes repair shop, and the two men became friends. Zeek recognized Ashley when they began sixth grade together at Fremont Elementary School.

Among her siblings, Ashley was regarded as the “wild” one. She frequently got into fights and was punished for talking back to adults. At thirteen, she was arrested following a misunderstanding at a convenience store.

Ashley’s family was unsurprised by her pregnancy but surprised that Zeek was the father. Adults around them regarded Zeek, an honor student with a quiet reputation, as the “good boy” and Ashley as the “bad girl,” a contrast that treated them as opposites while reducing both of them. Their peers were largely unsurprised by Zeek’s paternity because they knew how close he and Ashley had been for years.

Names and Preferences

Ashley used Ashley or Ash and disliked Megan and nicknames derived from it. Ruben nevertheless called her Megan, particularly when he was correcting her, angry with her, or asserting his authority; the use made the name especially unwelcome.

Ashley loved chocolate and especially welcomed it when she was in pain, exhausted, or otherwise feeling unwell. Zeek knew the preference well enough to include chocolate among the food he brought her without waiting for her to ask.

During her pregnancy, Ashley often craved macaroni and cheese, although she and Zeek could not afford it regularly. Zeek learned to make boxed Kraft macaroni and cheese taste better with what they had, and she called his version “amazing.”

Health and Disabilities

Main article: Ashley Alvarez Three-Day Disappearance and Hospitalization

Ashley’s menstrual cycles sometimes brought cramps severe enough to make her sob and vomit. When the cramps coincided with a mixed mood state, pain, nausea, and physical overstimulation compounded her agitation and the sensation that she wanted to crawl out of her skin. During one such episode at fifteen, Ashley had gone nearly two days without sleep by the time she reached Zeek at his father’s repair shop. Zeek stayed with her through the vomiting and provided steady counterpressure where she directed it; Ashley eventually fell asleep on the concrete beside him from pain, vomiting, and sleep deprivation. Later that morning, Ashley went to Janessa’s home. After taking pain medication Janessa had available, she slept for approximately two more hours and woke with less severe pain. Ashley then went downstairs to eat because remaining out of sight longer would have made Isabel suspicious of Janessa’s cover story.

During adolescence, Ashley increasingly sneaked out, became involved in fights, and began experimenting with substances. Shortly before she and Zeek conceived Julian, she disappeared for three days after she was last seen with older teenagers. Ashley was found unconscious and received emergency medical treatment before entering an adolescent inpatient mental-health program. She was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder after the program identified the crisis as a mixed episode. The diagnosis was accurate, although the program focused heavily on her behavior and did not fully account for her interior experience.

After learning that she was pregnant, Ashley returned to inpatient care out of fear for the baby’s safety. Convinced that she had killed the baby, she sobbed, moaned in panic, and begged clinicians to detox her regardless of what it took. Julian was her world. At thirty-eight weeks, while experiencing late-pregnancy hormonal changes and painful contractions, Ashley sometimes said things she did not mean; those statements did not reflect resentment toward him.

After Julian’s birth, Ashley experienced a postpartum bipolar episode with psychotic features. Her symptoms began before the final crisis and worsened while Zeek tried to obtain help for her. The people he approached repeatedly characterized her distress as ordinary worries shared by new mothers, including fears about being good enough. His learned distrust of his own alarm contributed to his acceptance of those reassurances despite his continuing concern.

Ashley was seventeen when she stepped into oncoming traffic. Julian was three months old and was at daycare when it happened.

Family and Core Relationships

Ruben Alvarez

Main article: Ruben Alvarez and Megan Ashley Alvarez

Ashley and Ruben had a rough relationship with evident mutual love; conflict was part of their relationship but did not define every interaction. Ashley was fiercely protective of her father and had punched someone for insulting him.

Ruben was a difficult and imperfect father. After Mia’s sudden death, he was overwhelmed by grief and the demands of parenting, and he became intensely lonely and depressed. His grief did not erase the effect of his anger or attempts to control Ashley, but those behaviors existed alongside loss, isolation, and responsibilities he struggled to manage.

Ruben worked as a UPS delivery driver. The job required sustained physical work, including driving, walking, and handling packages throughout his route. Fresno’s summer heat became harder for him to tolerate each year, worsening his breathlessness and physical exhaustion while he worked.

When Ashley left home without telling him or stayed out overnight, Ruben remained awake until he knew where she was. He continued caring for the other children and made sure they were safe and fed through the following day, even when he had not slept. Once their immediate needs were met, he hid his own collapse from them; he sometimes cried in the shower until exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep. Although the Browns could give Ashley a safe place, Ruben had no one who took over the practical work or gave him room to grieve openly.

Ruben had high blood pressure for which he had been prescribed medication. Severe stress and sleep deprivation could leave him with a migraine and nausea, including after he stayed awake waiting for Ashley to return. Exercise could leave him short of breath and winded, making sustained physical work difficult. Amy and Jack regularly reminded him to check his blood pressure.

During the summer of Ashley’s pregnancy, Ruben pushed himself harder on his UPS route despite the heat and his worsening exertional symptoms. He became ill while driving, pulled the truck to the side of the road, and turned on the hazard lights before losing consciousness in the cab. A passerby who had seen the truck pull over unevenly stopped and was shaking Ruben when he regained consciousness. The resulting emergency-department visit and cardiology workup led to a diagnosis of obstructive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy with dynamic left-ventricular outflow obstruction. His hypertension remained a concurrent condition.

Ruben genuinely liked Zeek. Before Zeek was expelled, Ashley tried to tell Ruben that something was wrong in the Reyes home, though she may only have alluded to it rather than explaining it directly. Ruben believed that she was exaggerating and did not understand the danger Zeek faced.

Although Ruben was angry about Ashley’s pregnancy, he rejected Zeek’s father’s decision to cast Zeek out after Julian’s birth. The disagreement ended the friendship between the two men. Ruben then let Zeek stay with him briefly before Zeek obtained a studio apartment.

Ruben’s health continued to decline after the diagnosis. Heat, exertion, prolonged standing, and volume depletion could worsen the outflow obstruction, while intermittent orthostatic hypotension could further reduce his tolerance for upright work. By the time Ashley died, recurrent fainting spells had made driving and completing a delivery route unsafe, and he could no longer continue the UPS work. He endured a prolonged disability-benefits process and ultimately needed a lawyer before his claim was approved. His depression worsened after Ashley’s death. His fainting and impaired exertional capacity later prevented him from safely becoming Julian’s primary caregiver after Zeek died.

After Ashley and Zeek had both died, Ruben carried profound guilt for dismissing what Ashley had tried to tell him. He continued to describe Zeek as a good boy even after Zeek’s death.

Zeek’s father and older brother Marco kept Ruben and the wider Alvarez family away from Julian. Ruben’s illness, grief, and limited financial resources prevented him from overcoming their control of access.

On March 20, 2037, Ruben, Amy, and Jack watched the livestream of ‘’I Am Still Me’’ from Ruben’s Fresno home. They remained for the interviews with Julian that followed. Shortly after the documentary’s success, Julian reached out to his maternal relatives and became particularly close to Ruben.

Before that reunion, public photographs of Kayla Rossi handling paparazzi around Julian reminded Ruben of Ashley. He knew the women were different, but he recognized in Kayla the same protective refusal to let other people claim unrestricted access to Julian.

Amy and Jack Alvarez

Ashley had two younger siblings. Amy Alvarez was thirteen when Ashley was fifteen, and Jack Alvarez was ten. During the morning Ashley stayed at the Brown home, Ruben made burgers for Amy and Jack. Amy was physically affectionate with Ruben; she hugged him, snuggled against him, and told him that he looked tired.

Amy sometimes became frustrated with Ashley because she believed Ashley did not notice or care how much Ruben was struggling. The sisters argued about him while Ruben was away from home or working late. Amy’s accusation reflected her understanding of Ashley’s behavior rather than an established absence of care from Ashley.

Ruben’s depression worsened after Ashley’s death. By the time Zeek died, Amy was approximately eighteen and was terrified of leaving their father alone. Jack was approximately fifteen and checked on Ruben repeatedly, particularly because of his depression, recurrent fainting, and declining physical health.

Janessa “Nessa” Brown

Main article: Janessa Brown and Megan Ashley Alvarez

Janessa Brown was Ashley’s best and practically only female friend. Ashley described Nessa as the only other girl she trusted. Both girls were regarded as wild and struggled with substance use, although Nessa came from a loving and supportive family whose members were sometimes overwhelmed by her behavior and needs.

When Ashley left home without telling her father, Janessa covered for her by saying that Ashley was at the Brown home, then called Ashley privately to learn where she actually was. Janessa was reassured when Ashley said that she was with Zeek because she knew Ashley was safe with him.

Janessa outwardly appeared more competent and had not acquired Ashley’s reputation, despite visible ADHD traits and some trouble of her own. People around the girls consequently expected Janessa to “keep Ashley in line,” treating Nessa as responsible for managing Ashley while overlooking that she was another teenager with concealed difficulties of her own.

When the girls got into trouble together, outsiders often assumed that Ashley had been the ringleader. Janessa took responsibility for her own participation rather than allowing that assumption to place the full blame on Ashley. This mattered to Ashley because other peers often backed her or participated alongside her until consequences followed, then withdrew and blamed her. Isabel, Janessa’s mother, also held her daughter accountable regardless of which girl had originated an idea.

Isabel

Isabel had been Mia’s friend. Before Mia died, Isabel promised her that she would care for Ashley. She regarded Ashley as another daughter and gave both girls the same gentle, loving maternal care.

Ezekiel “Zeek” Reyes

Main article: Zeek Reyes and Megan Ashley Alvarez

Main article: Zeek Reyes’s Microcassette Archive

As teenagers, Zeek was often the only person who could reach Ashley when she was in trouble or emotionally escalated. She sought comfort from him above everyone else, although she rarely accepted soothing as an immediate response. Zeek waited until she was ready to receive it and let her direct physical care, including the counterpressure that helped during severe menstrual cramps. Ashley was also Zeek’s safest relationship: she did not use his anxiety or distress to ridicule him, even while she was managing her own emotional turbulence.

Teasing and argument became part of their familiar way of speaking. Ashley could contradict Zeek, complain through his attempts to help, or answer his attention with more banter while still accepting the food or care he offered. Zeek understood that initial resistance did not necessarily mean she wanted him to leave, and Ashley did not have to concede a point aloud before allowing him to help. They kept that shorthand while caring for Julian together after his birth.

During Ashley’s three-day disappearance, Zeek remained awake for more than forty-eight hours and did not sleep until he learned that she had been found. Zeek later regarded both Ashley and Julian as the center of his life. He provided most of Julian’s care and raised him largely on his own while trying to obtain help for Ashley. Zeek also lived with severe reflux, which he kept hidden from most people. Ashley was the principal exception and knew that he slept with his upper body elevated and kept an emesis bag or trash can within reach because of nighttime regurgitation.

After Ashley was no longer with him, Zeek made large numbers of microcassette recordings while caring for Julian. He often talked into the recorder because he was lonely and could no longer speak to Ashley. In one entry addressed to Julian, he said that he continued recording “cuz I wish I could talk to your mama, wherever she be at right now.” In a written note, Zeek also told Julian never to doubt that his mami had loved him, explicitly separating Ashley’s illness from the depth of her love for their son.

Julian Reyes

Main article: Julian Reyes and Megan Ashley Alvarez

Ashley called Julian her “amorcito” and said he was “el amor de mi vida.” Julian learned about Ashley’s crisis through news coverage that focused on what she had done. Public discussion often treated Ashley cruelly and omitted the context of her age, illness, fear during pregnancy, and love for him. Julian was not wary of Ashley and grieved her death, but his feelings toward her were more muted and difficult to access than his feelings toward Zeek because the coverage was his primary account of her. Zeek’s written clarification later changed Julian’s understanding of Ashley. Photographs Zeek had taken and saved of Ashley with Julian helped him understand what the words meant; Zeek had kept them without knowing that his son would someday need them to see his mother outside the public account of her death. Julian remained protective of both parents.

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