Skip to content

Julian Reyes and Megan Ashley Alvarez

Julian Reyes was the son of Megan Ashley “Ash” Alvarez. Their relationship lasted from Julian’s birth until Ashley’s death three months later. Her psychiatric crises affected her pregnancy and postpartum period, but Zeek Reyes’s later notes described Julian as her world and recorded her efforts to protect him before birth.

Pregnancy and Birth

After learning that she was pregnant, Ashley returned to inpatient care because she feared for Julian’s safety. Convinced that she had killed the baby, she sobbed, moaned in panic, and begged clinicians to detox her regardless of what it took.

At thirty-eight weeks, late-pregnancy hormonal changes and painful contractions sometimes led Ashley to say things she did not mean. Those statements did not reflect resentment toward Julian.

Julian’s First Three Months

After Julian’s birth, Ashley experienced a postpartum bipolar episode with psychotic features. Her symptoms began before the final crisis and worsened while Zeek tried to obtain help. The people he approached repeatedly characterized her distress as ordinary worries shared by new mothers. Zeek provided most of Julian’s daily care during this period.

Ashley called Julian her “amorcito” and said he was “el amor de mi vida.”

Ashley was seventeen when she stepped into oncoming traffic. Julian was three months old and was at daycare at the time.

Death, Public Record, and Julian’s Later Knowledge

Ashley’s death attracted substantial news coverage. The coverage Julian encountered focused on what Ashley had done, while public discussion often treated her cruelly and omitted the context of her age, illness, fear during pregnancy, and love for Julian. Julian was not wary of Ashley and grieved her death, but his feelings toward her were more muted and difficult to access than his feelings toward Zeek because the coverage was his primary account of her. He remained protective of both parents.

Main article: Zeek Reyes’s Microcassette Archive

Zeek’s written notes gave Julian a direct account of Ashley’s love for him. In one note, Zeek wrote:

“and don’t you ever fucking doubt that for a second, lil man. She loved you with everything she had. She was sick, it didn’t mean she didn’t love you as much as I do”

His other notes described Ashley’s panic after discovering the pregnancy and distinguished her illness and late-pregnancy pain from any reduction in her love for Julian. Zeek’s clarification changed how Julian understood Ashley. The photographs Zeek had taken and saved of Ashley with Julian then helped him understand what the words meant. Zeek had kept them as family photographs without knowing that Julian would later need them to see his mother outside the public account of her death.

Relationships Family Relationships Julian Reyes Megan Ashley Alvarez